The Color Of Stupid: The Dress that Broke the Internet

I'm torn between being highly amused and wanting to face palm somebody.

Yesterday's news included such sadness as the passing of Leonard Nimoy, Homeland Security potentially shutting down, and weather causing massive nasty flight delays.  But what's really important about yesterday is THE DRESS...

This one irrelevant article of clothing has sparked a controversy that simply baffles me.  OMG, what color is this dress!?

More importantly, WHO CARES?

Apparently, no one was aware until yesterday that things look different under different lighting.  OR that white balance can and will drastically effect the color as well.  Thus, the debate of the century has commenced.

Has no one every noticed what when it's dusk, everything kind of looks blue?  MIND BLOWN!

Is it white and gold?  Blue and black?  Well now, the left shot sure doesn't look blue and black, but that shot on the right... I'm just dumbfounded.  I don't know what to believe anymore.  This is the most confusing thing since Michael Jackson.

Ok, seriously though, it's gone a bit too far.  I'm all for a little distraction from real life, because most of our news is depressing anyway.  But people are losing friends over this stupid dress.  I do support the hilarious memes that have been generated, the following being my favorite so far:

IT'S TRUE!  It doesn't matter.

Another fun example of lighting:

I can hear the debate now...  "Is this food delicious, or not delicious?  I'M JUST NOT SURE!"  "What color IS that carrot?"

Ah, I've decided to save the face palm for a more serious matter.  This one is just so ridiculous that it has to be funny.  I leave you with one more picture....

Two Years Later

Two years ago today, everything changed.

I woke up to kiss Mike goodbye so he could pick up his final paycheck.  It was a Monday, and I was late for my period by three days.  I figured I should take a test, put my mind at ease.

Yeah....

I can't pee on a stick.  Well, correction, I can pee on the stick, but then I also pee on my hands, the seat, probably the cat.  I'm a terrible aim.  So I took a Dixie cup and tried to pee in that instead.  The test says hold the stick in for 20 seconds, then lay it down for two minutes.  I held it in and counted one...two...three.... it's turning blue.  It's TURNING BLUE.  Why is it turning blue already?

I pick up the box, I look at the test, I look at the box.  I'm pregnant.  I turn and scream at my cats "Holy Shit, I'm PREGNANT!"  They celebrated by running away and hiding under the bed.  That wasn't satisfying, and I need to tell someone!

I called my Dad.  I'll never forget that conversation - he made me laugh.  When I called Mike to tell him I had a surprise for him, he walked in fully expecting a Playstation 3 waiting for him.  Ha, SURPRISE!  After the initial shock, we had a beautiful moment together that still makes me tear up.  But we had no idea what it truly meant to start a family.

Now, two years later, I have a crazy toddler and I'm headed into my second trimester with baby number 2.  We've both changed jobs since that day, and moved out of our apartment and into a house.

Everything is different, and I couldn't tell you how I lived my life before that day.  There are bits and pieces I can recall:  some fun camping trips, some drinking, some great meals, some more drinking, ROCKBAND!  But I can't imagine how I must have filled my time when I had it.

I wouldn't change my daughter for the world, and I don't know if I could have prepared any better if someone had told me just what motherhood was going to entail.  Part of the problem was that I didn't really believe them when they said "Sleep when the baby sleeps."  That would be great, but then who will do the dishes and vaccuum and AHHHHH!!!  There's simply not enough time in the day to take care of the baby, the housework, and finally ME.

I was becoming someone I didn't like (and no one else did either):  proud-to-the-point-of-obnoxious, angry, exhausted, and self-righteous.  I WOULD take care of everything because I was better than everyone!  I was SUPERMOM.  I would run myself into the ground if that's what it took!

And it did.

Sometimes it still does, but I'm blessed to have the kind of love and support that I do in Mike.  I can't imagine doing this alone.  I raise my hat to all the single mothers out there, and I hope they find that love and support somewhere.  I hope that all of us who are blessed with a child can relax, let the dishes sit for a while, and just enjoy the beauty of childhood.  My daughter makes me laugh harder than I've ever laughed in my life.

I found the things I was missing by being too busy.  I found music again, and the sweet emotions that come with it.  I had forgotten how much I loved to take a bath with an old paperback and read until the water got cold.  I'm picking up my camera again.  I am finding new pleasures in writing.

I'm finding happy again.  I might need someone to remind me once in a while, but I think I'm finally headed in the right direction.

Isn't it amazing the difference two years can make?

Overreactions - Why People Need To Calm The F*** Down

Ah, the Oscars.

Eighty-seven years of honoring cinematic achievements in the film industry.  Categories that run from Best Picture all the way to Makeup and Hair Styling.  Timeless speeches given by the recipients that bring tears to your eyes.

At least, that's what I expected to read about today when I checked out the news recaps.  I didn't bother watching them last night - between having the toddler run around and praying she'd go to sleep before The Walking Dead came on, I was not concerned.  I haven't seen any of these movies yet anyway.

Still, I was curious.  So I peeked at the computer today, and what do I see?  The first two stories that come up are about how the host Neil Patrick Harris made an "ill-timed" joke about an award recipient, and how Sean Penn's green card joke has "sparked controversy".  Nothing, NOTHING about who won what or any beautiful moments during the evening.

Like Neil Patrick Harris in his underwear.  Good times!

I've read both articles (feel free to check them out here:  Neil Patrick Harris Cracks Ill-Timed Joke ; Sean Penn's Green Card Joke Sparks Controversy

Here's my takeaway:  NEITHER of the people that the jokes were referring to were offended.  They both thought the comments/jokes were funny as hell.  But everyone else has decided that these comments are unacceptable and offensive!  How awful, how could they say those things!?

The worst of it is, by Thursday no one will even remember what the hell happened to make them so mad in the first place.

Everybody - please calm the fuck down.

I found a hysterical article on Cracked.com that gave six examples of Overreaction.  For example - a man throws himself in front of his wife's car.... to keep her from voting.  It made me laugh out loud (honestly, great stuff), but at the same time got me thinking - these are TRUE STORIES!  Is it any wonder that this country is plagued by the side effects of stress?  Just look at us!

Overreacting to a joke you didn't care for also induces stress.  It make you stress out, it makes others stress out that jump on the offended bandwagon,  it stresses out the people who thought it was funny but now are caught up in the dramatic debate, and it stresses out the joker because they are second-guessing the decision to try and bring humor to someone.  Stress causes the following:

Stress Warning Signs and Symptoms
Cognitive Symptoms	Emotional Symptoms
Memory problems Inability to concentrate Poor judgment Seeing only the negative Anxious or racing thoughts Constant worrying	Moodiness Irritability or short temper Agitation, inability to relax Feeling overwhelmed Sense of loneliness and isolation Depression or general unhappiness
Physical Symptoms	Behavioral Symptoms
Aches and pains Diarrhea or constipation Nausea, dizziness Chest pain, rapid heartbeat Loss of sex drive Frequent colds	Eating more or less Sleeping too much or too little Isolating yourself from others Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

Thanks to helpguide.org, we see here many things that suck.

Laughter, on the other hand....

The Benefits of Laughter
Physical Health Benefits: Boosts immunity Lowers stress hormones Decreases pain Relaxes your muscles Prevents heart disease	Mental Health Benefits: Adds joy and zest to life Eases anxiety and fear Relieves stress Improves mood Enhances resilience	Social Benefits: Strengthens relationships Attracts others to us Enhances teamwork Helps defuse conflict Promotes group bonding

The moral of the story:  Laugh at jokes.  And calm the fuck down.  Because let's face it, if we can't laugh at ourselves, then what's the point of it all?

What Is Fashion? More importantly.... WHY???

I was perusing the Yahoo stories that come up on my homepage, and I came across an article titled "The Best Looks From New York Fashion Week".  I was bored enough to check it out, and what I found just baffled me.

You can do the same here:   https://www.yahoo.com/style/the-best-looks-from-new-c1424468703596.html

First things first, why is it illegal to smile when you are on the runway?  The message seems to be that looking either sulky or spaced-the-fuck-out is sexy.  FALSE!  It's creepy!  I mean honestly, just look - there's nothing in there!  No personality, no emotion... just dead space.

Secondly, I'd like to know WHO decides what's fashionable?  I looked up the definition in case I'd missed something in my 31 years:

Fashion - a popular trend, especially in styles of dress and ornament or manners of behavior.

Nowhere here does it tell me what crazy individuals are selected to decide "what's hot and what's not".  Whoever they are should probably be sent somewhere far far away from me, because I'm tempted to set the lot of them on fire right about now.

The picture that started this rant for me was this "coat"...

I don't even know where to start.  Why???  I guess that would be my first question.  Why would someone even think to create an extra large beer coozy with strips cut out of it and call it a coat?  Is that panty hose on his head?  Why is there an inverted bubble blower hanging out of his mouth?  Why is the brand painted on his knees?  What's going on here???

But alas, not only has someone created this monstrosity, it's FASHIONABLE.

This wasn't the only cringe-worthy outfit (but it was the scariest).  I have never understood the trends that flutter in and out - I'm partial to being comfortable and wearing what makes me happy.  My idea of fashion would make these people shudder, I'm sure.  But that's what I like, what makes me feel good.

What's wrong with that?

I don't even have a happy solution to this conundrum.  I'd hoped when I started this rant, I'd end it with smiles and puppies and butterflies, but I just can't find the path to it.  Perhaps another day.

I guess I should put Yahoo on my list of shit I shouldn't look at anymore.